Pappa wants mamma naked
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
