i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The air taste purple.
Randomize
