i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
