Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
sex in a hospital.. check
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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