They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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