Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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