Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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