Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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