I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
