i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
