i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
