Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
