I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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