I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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