and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
