cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
