my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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