Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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