is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
