I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
