My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
