Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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