do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We got so high we made milksteak
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize