there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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