What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Shitshow foam night was such a success
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
