D3 body, D1 cock
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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