Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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