I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
