I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
