it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
