Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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