think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
how does that bad decision feel?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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