I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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