My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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