ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
