why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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