hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
