do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
