my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize