You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
