Tell her she can't have a vagina
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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