I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
