Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
