im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
