I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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