sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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