He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
