Need sex. Gaining weight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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