Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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