Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
