Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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