YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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