Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
