Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
