is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
