i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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