Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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